remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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