I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I understand Curling. That high.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Randomize
