I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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