I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
