We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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