just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
okay pat passed out under dana's car
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
