Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
