I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Randomize
