go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
