About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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