i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I forget how to act sober
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
