I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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