Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
