Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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