I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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