So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
