Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
