I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
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