look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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