no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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