I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
