Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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