You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
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