please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Randomize
