Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
