Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
