Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
