even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Quick, to the slutcave!
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
