My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
