I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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