You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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