Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
