would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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