Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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