im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
