How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
