I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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