He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
