If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
