you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
