My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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