i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
