I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
