The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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