YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
