She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
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