Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
