I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
