chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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