Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Mom said you looked used
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
