I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
no, he came in my armpit
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
