dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
