You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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