he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
