we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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